Encouraging The Fathers Amongst Us In Times Of Covid-19 Pandemic 在疫情期间给予我们当中的父亲鼓励
Author : Bro Nicholas Ng
I recently attended a Zoom talk titled “Fathering through the Fast and Furious” organized by the Centre for Fathering & Dads for Life and want to share some reflections here.
Speaker started off with these opening questions to the audience “Are we the backseat fathers during the pandemic that are often absent, assuming our spouses have done a great job or we simply have no clue what to do? Or are we the kind of fathers who take the front seat, some will join the Dads for Life movement to be accountable to other fathers; participate in like-minded platforms or forums to gain a clearer understanding of our roles in society – what it means to be a son, a man, a husband, a father? Are we being consistent as we relate to all parties, whether at work or at home?
On authenticity – here he shared that we need to be true to ourselves when we are having our bad days. When emotional stresses hit us, we often express these negative emotions in our homes. We need to be mindful and self-controlled of these emotions. It is helpful at times like these to have people we can trust like our spouses and brothers-in-Christ to talk to and share on the bad days. I have been fortunate enough to have my wife who has been patient and respectful to point out my blind spots with love. In such situations, we need to be humble and allow our children to see that their fathers can fall and pick themselves up, improving from there on. We can allow/help kids to understand how the father is feeling. How to get up and make peace, and seek reconciliation.
Another recent sermon shared by our church's pastor Andrew where he encouraged us from 2 Timothy 1:3-5 on the importance of the foundation of the family. How Christ's legacy has been passed down to Timothy from his maternal grandmother Lois and mother Eunice. We need to bring our children to meet God, allowing His Word and Holy Spirit to work in our children and to draw them close to Christ. And he also mentioned as parents we need to be authentic and real, not be hypocrites like the Pharisees. As parents, we are closely watched by our children. What we do is magnified many times when our kids watch us and model after us. And yes, that means we need to be mindful of our thoughts; our speech and our actions matter!
As fathers, we need to focus on what matters in this life, to reject sin, live holy and upright lives, modeling the biblical values for our children. Yet, I think the bigger challenge is how we can explain to our children that we are made for another world. Yes, we need to do our best in the world we live in now, but more importantly, we need to instill in them a future kingdom lens, that there is life after this life and that will give them hope when this world brings disappointment which is inevitable.
Let us be proactive fathers, and encourage one another to be good role models for our children beyond this life!
文: 吴国樑弟兄
翻译: 王佩瑾师母
我最近参加了一个由Centre for Fathering 和 Dads for Life举办的网上讲座，“Fathering Through the Fast and Furious”(粗略译为“在快速与愤怒中为人父”)，在这里想和大家分享我的感想 。
讲座一开始，讲员便向听众提问，“当疫情发生时，我们是属于经常缺席，并假设自己的配偶把一切照料得妥妥当当，自己反而手足无措，‘后座性’的父亲；还是会坐在‘驾驶座位’的父亲？“我们当中，有些父亲会参加Dads for Life的活动来督促自己或者参与类似的社交平台，让自己更了解本身在社会中所扮演的角色-如何当一个称职的男人，儿子，丈夫，及父亲？我们的言行举止，不论在家或是工作场所，是否一致？
关于真实性，讲员与我们分享到我们必须真实地面对自己，并且意识到自己何时处于低潮时期。当我们在情绪上受到压力时，往往会把负面的情绪发泄在家人身上。我们必须注意及懂得控制好我们的情绪。面对这种情况时，若是能向可信任的弟兄或配偶倾诉，对自己是有很大的帮助的。我很庆幸自己的太太一直都非常以爱，耐心并尊重地向我指出自己的盲点。在这种情况下，我们必须谦卑地让孩子看到自己的父亲能够在跌倒后再爬起来，继续向前迈进。我们可以帮助孩子了解父亲的心情和感受，并学习如何站起来，缔造和平并寻求和解。
在近期的一次讲道中，燕杰传道借着提摩太后书1:3-5里提到的，耶稣基督的遗产是如何通过提摩太的外祖母罗以及母亲友妮基传给了提摩太，藉此鼓励大家注意家庭基础的重要性。我们需要将孩子带到神的面前，让祂的话语及圣灵在他们里面工作，并让他们接近耶稣。他也提到身为父母，我们需要保持真实性，不要像那虚伪的法利赛人。孩子们会观察父母的一举一动，我们所做的一切，在他们眼中会被放大很多倍，而他们也会以我们为榜样，效仿我们。是的，这意味着我们需要注意自己的思维、言行与举止！
身为父亲，我们必须把注意力集中在生命中真正重要的事，拒绝罪恶，活出圣洁正直的生活，为孩子们塑造富有圣经价值观的榜样。然而，我认为更大的挑战是如何让孩子了解我们是为另一个世界而造的。是的，我们必须在这个世界尽所能做到最好，但更重要的是要让孩子们放眼看到神的国度，及那永恒的生命，以致他们在面对这个世界给他们带来的失望时，仍有希望。
让我们做个积极主动的父亲吧!互相勉励,让自己成为孩子们在今世,及以后的好榜样