Love When It Bleeds — 流着血的爱
Author: Ps Andrew Xu
“Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth”
“Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart,
and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling,
but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.
”
It is easy to talk about love when it does not warrant sacrifice. True love is revealed not when things are going rosy but when it demands a price to pay. Often, we talk about love as a reciprocal exchange, I’ll give you as much as you can give me. But that’s just a transaction. There is nothing to boast if you simply is able to give love when given.
As a pastor for the past 6 years, I’ve seen so many relationships broken because of a misunderstanding of what love really is about. The transactional understanding of love is fine when the parties are willing to strike a balance of giving and receiving. Once this equilibrium breaks down, love breaks down together. The once “loving” relationship turns into one that is self-serving and poisonous.
To love is a choice. Choosing to sacrifice despite circumstances, and despite the response of the person we choose to love. Choosing to love even when it bleeds. There is no perfect relationship in this world. No parental, sibling, friend, colleague, spousal relationship is perfect. All relationships are broken because of the sin inside of us. Even our relationship with God is broken. Denial is futile and dangerous. Acknowledging that our relationships broken and fallen is the first step towards real love. Choosing to live within brokenness and sacrifice to love is the next step toward reconciliation.
Choosing to love even when we are bleeding is not about admitting mistake but about humility and obedience to let God work through our weaknesses. Not choosing to love is pride and rejection of God’s will and thus a working of our sinful nature.
Are you hurting right now in a relationship? Hurt and bleeding because of a less than perfect relationship with someone or with a community? Choose to love and to bless despite the circumstances and response of the people who are hurting you. Let God make you a channel of His love and see how God will bless you and use a surrendered person who is hurt and bleeding to bless. This is what we have been called as a disciple of Christ.
文:许燕杰传道
“孩子们，我们爱人，不要只在言语和舌头上
总要在行动和真诚上表现出来。”
“总括来说，你们要彼此同心，互相体恤，亲爱像弟兄，满有温柔，
存心谦卑。不要以恶报恶，以辱骂还辱骂，倒要祝福，
因为你们就是为此蒙召，好叫你们承受福气。”
当爱需要付出牺牲的时候，我们就不容易去爱。真爱不是在一切顺利的时候彰显出来，而是在当爱需要附上代价的时候才显明。我们谈到爱的时候通常是一种交易性的爱，你给我多少爱我就相应的给你多少。这样的爱不过是交易，没什么可跨的。
过去六年的牧养中，我看见了许多关系因着对爱是什么的误解而破碎。当彼此愿意付出的时候，关系有着平衡，交易性的爱就不会出现问题。但只要这样的付出开始失衡的时候，交易性的爱就开始瓦解了。那曾经“有爱”的关系变得自私，并充满毒素。
爱是个选择。不管环境如何、不管对方的反应，仍然选择去爱。就算流着血，还是选择爱。世上没有完美的关系。没有父母、兄弟姐妹、朋友、同事或夫妻之间的关系是完美的。所有的关系都因罪而破碎，包括了我们跟神的关系也是如此。认清关系的破碎是真爱的起步。选择在破碎和牺牲中去爱是修补的开始。
选择在流着血的时候仍然去爱并不是认错而是一种向神的谦卑与顺服，并愿意让神在我们的软弱中工作。相反的，不选择去爱是一种对神的傲慢，拒绝神在我们有罪的生命中工作。
你是否正处在一个充满伤痛的关系中？正因着一个不完美的关系而受伤和流血？选择去爱，选择去祝福。不要看环境、也不要看别人的反应。让神透过你去祝福，让世人看见上帝能够透过一个受伤的人成为祝福的管道。这是我们身为主门徒的蒙召。